Weeks to the 10th year without you, I’m feeling the now familiar dull ache. I’m feeling the heavy heartedness that has characterized every month of May/June for the past 10 years.
They say that time heals all wounds, but they never tell you that there are wounds that will never heal.
The pain might dull with time as you busy yourself with life and living, but it never really heals, the emptiness remains.
When faced with challenging situations, I miss your gentle yet firm words of encouragement.
I miss the sound of your early mornings and midnight prayers. Praying for us, one after the other.
You settled our success in life on your knees, before you left.
You were and still is the most solid influence I and all my siblings ever had. You were mother, friend, confidante, counsellor, adviser, guide and teacher. You were intercessor and prayer partner.
You were strict and the firmest disciplinarian. You believed very strongly that sparing the rod spoils the child, so you spared not the rod. However, you were also generous with praise and affirmation.
You taught us to be strong, independent and generous with both ourselves and resources. You said that if we wanted anything, to go out and get it. You taught to know how to abound and to abase.
Growing up, we went back and forth between having it all and barely making ends meet, but in all of it, neither we nor the world could tell the difference.
Because of his business choices, Dad was hardly ever there and when he was, he was preoccupied with being the good cop amongst other things that he ended up not qualifying as a parental role model. He did qualify as our reference in style and elegance.
10 years without them both. We’ve tried to keep the fire burning, we’ve held on to the legacy. We are all doing well, all 7 of us. We’ve stayed united, even when we’ve disagreed with each other. And now more than ever, I feel that the love we have for each other is true and strong.
I love my 4 sisters to bits and I adore my 2 brothers.
I look around and I know we’ve been blessed to be borne by the most special of all women.
The woman who positively touched the life of every one who came in contact with her, in her vocation as a nurse/midwife, as a deaconess in church and as a mother to all and sundry.
This is to the most important of all the women in my life.
This is to You Mum, the woman who made me happen.
