I have heard many people talk about how independent they are. Maybe you are one of those people who consider themselves independent. And to all intents and purpose, being independent is good. Great in fact.
According to nature and the time of life, at first, we are all entirely dependent, on parents, family, and our community. And then, tentatively, we all begin to learn to do things on our own. We begin to develop our muscles, and we learn skills. Subsequently we begin to do things on our own, each of us according to our own capacity. Even if we still live with our parents or guardians. And then, legally we are no longer referred to a minors. We become adults, capable of living life fully on our terms. Making our own decisions and being held responsible for them.
This is desirable and according to nature, almost always guaranteed.
A lot of people think they have arrived and they stop. But there is a something better than Independence.
The truth is that many times, Independence is just not the way to go. Like everything else, there are many ills as well as gains attached to independence. And it important that we find the balance.
There are things you know. Then there’re things you don’t know. And then, there’re things that you don’t know that you don’t know.
The what to do and the why.
The how to do. The want to do.
There must be a connection and cohesion between these three dimensions for you to be able to get to your highest level of personal and interpersonal effectiveness
- Dependence
- Independence
- Interdependence
Each dimension is just as important as the one before it and it is necessary we express all of it. We must learn how move and alternate progressively from one to the other.
Each level is important and necessary all by itself.
Each level could be both good and then could become bad if you do not progress and find the balance between them.
First we go through the stage of dependence – from total dependence on parents and legal guardians to partial dependence on family and friend, then we start standing on our own – independence.
Then most people stop there. Or go back and forth without ever finding the balance.
The balance is what is known as Interdependence – that point where you know when you need help and you can ask for it and take it and where you can stand wholly on your own and be able to offer help and support to the people around you.
The truth is that, one cannot enter into the real state of interdependence without first experiencing depending and then moving on to strong levels of independence. First, you are served, then you serve – yourself first and then others. And finally you find the balance – where you can serve and be served.
That is what Interdependence is all about.
Give and be given.
Teach and learn.
Serve and be served.
Many
A significant problem we face today is the confusion of dependency with interdependency. Only people who have reached the level of independence can “drive” genuine win/win exchanges and negotiations…at best, dependent people can be a party to such an interaction, but they cannot facilitate, originate, or manage one.
Interdependence is built on teamwork, effective communication, cooperation and mutual respect.
Interdependence does not feel shame or make ashamed.
Interdependence thrives in environment of trust and openness.
Interdependence does not worry about being a burden or burdening the other person.
Interdependence understands humanity as well as divinity and that’s why we must all understand the principles of it and put them in practices in every aspect of our lives.
